Today, I saw my cat lying in the bathroom. A few seconds later, I noticed that he looked like he was dead. After going into a panic and quickly running to make sure he was okay, he woke up and glared at me. Later, he was sleeping in the exact same position, and I once again though he was dead. This cat, I swear… FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, after two weeks of believing that my extremely sick cat had escaped the house and ran away to die, I uncovered his lifeless body while deep cleaning my living room. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML
Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
So, you freak out when your pet is... ...wait on it... catatonic?
mentalissues 12
It’s probably asleep…. Why act so over dramatic when they are called “cat naps” for a reason lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
So, you freak out when your pet is... ...wait on it... catatonic?
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
This is the real reason cats are assholes 🤣 I'm constantly checking to see if mine are breathing haha
mentalissues 12
It’s probably asleep…. Why act so over dramatic when they are called “cat naps” for a reason lol