Today, I had to listen to my mom and grandma talk about their bladder issues in very great detail, including how my grandma has to hold up her stomach to empty it entirely. They told me to leave if it was uncomfortable. Good idea, but why don't you just not talk about that around other people? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML
Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML
Today, my mom told an entire room full of people about the time I almost died from severe diarrhea as a toddler. When I told her that it was embarrassing, she simply told me to “grow up”. FML
Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML
Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Things get more complicated when you are living in an extended family. Things that are uncomfortable for some listeners get said because the only other option is not to ever talk about uncomfortable subjects or for Mom and Grandma to close the doors and have their private conversations - Leaving you probably worried about if they are talking about you... Real people sometimes need to discuss things that make others uncomfortable. When this happens, the wisest course is for you to remove yourself from hearing the conversation. Your discomfort does not trump your Mom and Grandma's medical situation. I agree I wouldn't want to overhear this during a family meal or in front of my guests or friends - But any other time is fair.
TeaTimeAbyss 22
YDI. Maybe listen, this is your future speaking.
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Comments (3)
TeaTimeAbyss 22
YDI. Maybe listen, this is your future speaking.
Hangryko 32
They're right, effing leave if you don't like it.
Chazzster 32
Things get more complicated when you are living in an extended family. Things that are uncomfortable for some listeners get said because the only other option is not to ever talk about uncomfortable subjects or for Mom and Grandma to close the doors and have their private conversations - Leaving you probably worried about if they are talking about you... Real people sometimes need to discuss things that make others uncomfortable. When this happens, the wisest course is for you to remove yourself from hearing the conversation. Your discomfort does not trump your Mom and Grandma's medical situation. I agree I wouldn't want to overhear this during a family meal or in front of my guests or friends - But any other time is fair.