Today, my parents informed that the man I'm going to marry had made it into the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I found out my soon-to-be husband and father of my unborn child is already married to another man. FML
Today, I found out the man I have a date with next week is married. FML
Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML
Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML
Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
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Top comments
dude1122332 9
Guess you never completely know someone.
Popcornography 10
If he can't even make front page, dump his sorry arse.
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Comments (62)
dude1122332 9
Guess you never completely know someone.
marmlr339 14
It was probably a joke. Unless you are having an arranged marriage?
Popcornography 10
Not the best joke ever.
wallandpiece 16
You never know OP, he could be a vigilante. Or a robin hood type figure. You know, 'stealing from the rich and giving to the poor'. It's what we need these days.
DLBL 23
The US is the Land of Opportunity. Ask any legal immigrant who jumped through hoops to come here. But of course some people want free shit all the time, so socialists/communists are getting voted into office, as if that government ever ends well. Vote your way into socialism; shoot your way out.
dude1122332 9
I agree with 15.
patrickalamo 48
Don't you mean the man you "were" going to marry
crazyladydaisy 4
I guess you should really get to know someone before you plan on spending the rest of your life with them.
mduffy08 8
How is stealing from the rich going to solve our problems? How is stealing from the people who actually have earned their living, going to solve our problems? How is stealing from the people who supply jobs solving our problems?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I'm not going to lie, when I first read this I thought that OP's parents decided she was going to marry this man. Took me three tries to read it correctly :P
XxDevilxXGt 26
Hey, not every rich person earned it or deserves it. Stealing from multi-millionnaires could actually pay off all of the national debt. But let's not get into that. :)
mduffy08 8
73 - Yes because every rich person is a complete snotty douche bag. No; most of them earned it. You cannot take from those who earned their living, and reward the ones that haven't.
AphyTheBronette 15
"Earned" is kinda objective, I think those over paid CEO's who have sweat shops in China and other third world countries or go and out source because they earn 1.2% more a year on their stock have earned it? This economy sucks the only way it's going to turn around is to fund honest work from those 1% rich asses, they get enough tax breaks they can afford more charity in the world.
doctorhook86 25
In all seriousness, if corporations and the wealthiest 10% of Americans paid their fair share of taxes (rather than evading them via legal loopholes) over the past 30 years, the USA would hardly even have a debt problem. 15: Vigilantes and Robin Hood-types make for great stories, but in real life they just generate dangerous cultures of fear. Fear destroys freedom.
mduffy08 8
What? Is this a joke!?! Mitt Romney donated 21 million in charity. So tell me, how much have you donated? By the way, maybe we wouldn't be in this debt crisis if we weren't sending blind checks to imbeciles sitting on their asses. People need to start depending on themselves rather than the governent.
SkoomaKi 28
I'm sure once he is caught, sentenced and released he could a fetching young fellow. Disciplined too, if jail straightened him up.
ALlamaOnFire 20
Really? Would you go out with an ex-convict. The only prisoners I would go out with are the ones from The Shawshank Redemption;)
ebonyirony 29
Skoomaki is making a joke, idiot.
XoxoRajanae 0
Lol... I agree. That wasn't smart
mandak1982 3
Just because someone is an ex-con or a convicted felon doesn't make them a bad person.
alshygirl 14
64 yeah like Dog the Bounty Hunter! :)
xXxIracebethxXx 14
No, dog the bounty hunter is just ******* crazy.
HonestTruth 5
32 - Apparently you would according to your last sentence. Doesn't matter if it is one or one million. You would indeed go out with an ex-convict. Hypocrite.
IQWasJustLowered 0
yeah i plan on waiting for sandusky ;)
roseXthorns 8
Turn him in or run away together.
Krysk_fml 0
That's a stupid idea.
toenibbler 14
Hence the implied sarcasm.
ianbeef 11
Harboring a fugitive is a felon. So that would be a stupid idea.
skata 4
*felony
TheMystery_fml 6
Ah yes, the Bonnie and Clyde scenario.
ianbeef 11
68 thanks for pointing that out:) I'm bad with spelling and it helps to know when I spell wrong
Fmlsea 28
and your marrying him? your parents must be proud he sounds like a keeper.FYL
MrSassypants 34
A stupid question, with a stupid overused comment, and now me, being stupid and pointing out the obvious. Stupid.
Sawarski 13
#4 *you're First time grammar Nazi :)
MrSassypants 34
Yo, dawg! You forgot a period. Don't worry, I got yo back, homey G!
XtraEzeee 8
Grammar gangster? I have to say I enjoy this much more!
jetsown08 21
36- Homie*. Or at least that's how it's done in my hood, ya feel me G?
ItzMeGuyz 3
(＾▽＾). Actually you're wrong. It is your. Unless that's what you meant by first time grammar nazi. If that's the case disregard the message. I'm not good at reading sarcasm.
MrSassypants 34
#101, there is two your's in the sentence, actually. One of them is incorrect.
kimmi41509 10
I guess you won't be marrying him anytime soon or at all, will you? I hope not.
DrJesse 10
5- of course not! No woman wants a man that can't make the front page.
KingOfAmazing 9
Unless she has a thing for bad boys. In that case, he's perfect.
bstudds 1
oh that's rough! hopefully it's not the same issue running their wedding announcement
borkchop1992 15
Well looks like it's time to sign up for a dating site unless your willing to wait for him to come out of jail, and even then he'll probably be gay or tramatized from all the anal he'll take.
Bullpine 11
I sense some miscommunication on his part. Sorry OP.
Mideoyeo 12
I think it might be time to rethink your options OP..unless you like bad boys of course.
ambowew 7
Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? If it's with a weapon, run like hell!
Mideoyeo 12
Well, maybe with his new found fame OP's fiance can become a filthy rich mafia boss and they can live together in harmony. Who knows?
coconutdaydream 7
Maybe you guys need to sit down and have a chat.....