Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realize she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. Five minutes later I shat and vomited myself. FML
Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML
Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML
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Top comments
EPICApathy 0
Next time, learn to step out of the car and puke on her seat while you wait on the bench out side. then she learn.
MadaZer0 8
The though of just opening the door didn't come to you... Why exactly?
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Comments (122)
Daederoth 10
Now that is abuse! And I use to get beat with a golf club!
uunnkknnoowwnn 0
You didn't open the door...?
LikeOhMahGoose 0
I'm confused? You couldn't open the door to puke? And then go inside to get a drink of water?
maxman1616 0
Wait, an FML below this one is from a person named JustMyLuck, how is there a difference between the two nicknames?
MrsxStewart 4
What is wrong with you? Accidents happen but why would you even CONSIDER basking in your puke for three hours no less? grow some common sense.
benderbang48 4
dude why didn't u just open the car door so u wouldn't get it all over the car DUMBASS!!!
cute_a 0
ahahahh i laughed so hard im crying after reading these comments!! sorry about your disgusting experience
shanster 3
Why didn't your dumbass get out of the car? It's not like it was moving since you said it was parked at the DMV. You're a ******* retard and you deserve this.
dragonwarrior 3
Your mom should have taken you home first but you should at least stood outside of the car after puking and possibly made an attempt to clean it up. FYL
AmbrosiaFan 19
YDI. PUT YOUR HEAD OUTSIDE THE CAR AND PUKE.