Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year-old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter is absolutely miserable and constantly putting herself down, as she has been for a week. What happened a week ago? She bumped into a stranger at Walmart, apologized, and the guy told her, “Nope, not good enough. You need to die.” Who says that to a child? FML
Today, my tired son and I were riding a shuttle bus. An old lady got on, and I told him we needed to get up so she could have the seat. He started crying and screamed, "WHY? She's old, she's gonna die soon!" I wanted to melt into the ground. FML
Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I noticed my daughter’s bathroom was dusty, so I screamed at her for keeping the bathroom in unacceptable condition. She had a panic attack and has been crying for the past week. She’s 24. FML
Today, I was sitting outside of a counseling center waiting for someone, watching an older lady bawl her eyes out as she exited the building. Absolutely broke my heart, because asking her if she was okay would have been intrusive and unasked for... and yet I can't get the sight of her crying out of my head. FML
Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML
Today, I overheard a lady tell her child in a store that, “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll tell that guy over there to take you away.” She was referring to me. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
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Top comments
maz_irken 6
...I want to meet your kid!
TaylorTotsYumm 10
*SMACK*
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Comments (217)
Holy_ish 19
Lmao your daughter is a G!
jenno32 3
I hate when people find children "acting like adults" funny enough NOT to punish them for the bad behavior. It's no excuse to let them talk like that..and where did she learn this language, mom?
MissyBoo13 0
awww...
otakuchica 4
"are you okay?" Awwwww, "shut up then!" you little-
el_muerte 2
That's not an FML, that's a your-daughter-is-a-*******-hero.
karmicsamadi86 9
Your kid sounds AWESOME!!!!
Tha_Jocka44 0
My kid is going to be like that
xpskl 5
you've taught her well. :)
at0micmin3r 23
Someone needs some parenting classes, huh? YDI
Lovesglee 3
Omg! Ur kid is the best! Lol jk but that is funny ;) (but ur kid is pretty awesome...)