Today, I hooked up with a guy on Tinder, but halfway through sex, his wife came home. As I stumbled back into my own house, I realised with my new lingerie and two lots of taxi fares, I’d spent £170 and all it got me was one glass of wine, one mouthful of cum, and a black eye from his wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Tinder. After chatting in a pub, we went for a walk at the marina nearby. He tried to have sex with me bareback behind the lighthouse. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Tinder. After chatting in a pub, we went for a walk at the nearby marina. He tried to have sex with me bareback behind a lighthouse. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy on our third date. We'd just finished having sex and he was blatantly on Tinder right next to me in bed. I literally hadn’t moved yet and he still had a wet boner, and yet he was on Tinder looking for his next hookup. FML
Today, I'd promised my flatmate I’d sleep somewhere else so he could hook up with his Tinder date. Unfortunately I had a bad day at work and totally forgot so I went home as normal and walked in on him in the front room, balls deep in my aunt, who is “happily married” to my favourite uncle. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Today, I spent 12 hours in an airport rather than go back to the apartment of the man I traveled to see for the weekend. Instead of wine, dine, sixty-nine, he took me to a tailgating event and introduced me to two girls he had a threesome with. FML
Today, my husband bought me a remote-controlled vibrator, put it in my underwear, and spent the entirety of our date night making it vibrate. I was soaking wet and ready to get fucked. Too bad he drank two bottles of wine during the date and fell asleep the second we got home. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
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Top comments
slhiggx 17
Advise for you. Don’t suck dick on the first tinder date. That’s a weak move. And if you go to them, the man pays the fare at the least. Just some standards would help.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
If you got a mouthful of cum it probably wasn't halfway through the sex for him.
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Comments (7)
slhiggx 17
Advise for you. Don’t suck dick on the first tinder date. That’s a weak move. And if you go to them, the man pays the fare at the least. Just some standards would help.
zip2dwess 16
What? And why is that? If she loves giving head what’s the problem? Would you tell q guy not to go down on a woman on the first date? That’s ridiculous. She’s free to do whatever she feels like doing.
diraven 15
Does any woman really love it though?
Wadlaen 24
Money well spent!
wrenavery90 12
Hard to feel bad for you.
RichardPencil 32
That's on you. You need to learn to haggle. You should be able to get a much lower price for a mouthful of cum.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
If you got a mouthful of cum it probably wasn't halfway through the sex for him.
Gemfez 17
She should really have been angry with her husband, not you. Sorry this happened to you.