Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three Percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML
Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML
Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
Today, after my boyfriend had been away for months, I invited him over to have sex. He said he hurt his back too badly to do anything. Don't worry though, it doesn't hurt enough to stop him from working on his truck for several hours. FML
Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because, I "shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Zigstyle308 18
Take the pain pills and forget about sex, just rest.
carecow 16
That's a selfish partner you should reconsider spending your life with.
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Comments (72)
aukaylaheath 16
Wow what a douche.
ebadams311 10
sounds like my husband. get better op
JPStarre 12
Rather than sexing him up, you should be exing him up. Get it? Exing? *cries and feels bad for that hideous pun*
randompizzaguy 17
Playing Devil's advocate here. If he's your husband he cares about you, and he probably just didn't realize exactly how much pain you're in. Slipping and falling typically isn't associated with tremendous amounts of pain, except for a few rare incidents such as this one.
EvilLittleMan 23
Grant your husband permission to cheat with the Rosey Palm twins and their ten sisters. That should keep him occupied for a few minutes.
abbiewinters 12
That is so inconsiderate of him. Have a good rest OP.
Borederlander 1
Sex is a natural pain reliever.
alanharvey15 13
I think he needs a baseball bat across the knee for being suck a careless asshole
gintwinsmoore 20
don't give him shit!!!!!
abNormal62 23
Take the pill and then maybe you will fall backwards, and off to sleep and he can learn to cope with the pain of an unexpected pulled muscle.....