Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML
Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, while showing my mum how to make a TikTok, she not only found the masturbation video I made to send to my husband while he’s away for work, she accidentally managed to post it to TikTok. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
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Top comments
Juicenub 25
Hopefully the video won't shake things up.
AlwaysWatching 27
Did your mom not notice that? That would be awkward having a video of your room shown around anyway....
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Comments (74)
myeviltwin 20
Could be worse. She could have posted it to facebook.
damnit1989 16
I'm still trying to figure out your username...
lazyk411 2
sometimes I wonder why all posts aren't listed anonymous...
whatz_going_on 24
It's Japanese. I'm guessing it means goddess of fortune, or goddess of the beautiful sky.
brandoneyez1 25
That's probably why she is showing it. Cause of the vibrator.
worldclassrager 41
Well it might not be too bad unless it's online
eatmorewaffles 9
Now everyone will know she can make two kitties purr at the same time!
buckdharma 38
I got a mental image of kitty hitting the on button to your love machine and getting into a death struggle with it that it wins because, kitties have a lot of energy, and you needed new batteries. The film is subsequently entered in the White Sands International Film Festival under the title,"Cat On A Hot Thin Root," and wins hands down.
mystical_mayham 5
now thats funny
LsDxCuPcAkE 3
I wish I was your new kitten ;3
Chibi_Kitten 24
I think it is exactly why she is showing the video..it was a clean one, right? It could be worse..right?
cynicalsatireman 12
YDI. Your mother should of taught you to put your toys away.