Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML
Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML
Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML
Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
Today, I was in a car accident with my dad. A wheel slammed into my door, dislocating my arm and breaking it in three places. Later on, the people who hit us came over and gave my little sister a gift basket. She wasn't even in the car. FML
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Top comments
pieisyourdrug 0
... Your dad is a dick.
Snazaza 0
thats exactly like my mom lol. i broke my thumb riding a bike and she spent 45 mins in front of the mirror doing her makeup because she refuses to leave the house without looking nice. :l
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Comments (140)
lizzilla8297 2
who the heck still rides scooters? are you like five?
xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx 0
Want me to call whine-one-one and get a wambulance to give you cheese for that whine? ;)
tc34 1
cry about it I broke my arm and waited two weeks to go to a doctor
switchgurl20 17
hahaha lookin for a date. lol prob a hot nite nurse
baileybug93 0
Moral of the story? Nobody looks good on a scooter.
charlie2_fml 2
Are you really dumb enough to sit there for and hour waiting instead of trying to find an alternate ride?
southernbelle808 2
My dad does that too! Haha it's awful! FYL(:
rigley8 3
When i broke my arm... on the way to the hospital my dad got hot chips because he was hungry
Alexweber929 14
He only did it to make sure you werent faking, sometimes it feels serious for the first little bit but the pain eventually subsides, it would suck to pay the hospital bills only to find out that it was actually nothing to worry about, and im 20 years old and I still ride my old razr scooter
nicholasj96 9
Call 911 idiot .