Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML
Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, while I was drunk, my brother decided to use pliers to pull out my bad tooth. He grabbed the wrong tooth, and when it didn’t pop out cleanly he decided he just needed to squeeze harder, and crushed the healthy tooth into splinters. I can feel the nerve with my tongue, it’s agony. FML
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Top comments
beaglegal 42
Toe no!
chaseafterwind82 29
'And that was what started the terrible conflict known as the Great Prank War of 2015.'
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Comments (49)
UncleCaitlyn 21
For revenge put pubes in his food
clickme 17
Oh.....My.....God! That is so ******* disgusting. FYL for sure OP.
FalloutScrolls 25
It's August. As revenge, I suggest you nominate him for the ALS Ice Bucket Ambush.
cornyrob 33
argfarglewashes -- Slartibartfast
JKPwnage 27
Your brother's ****** up.
worldclassrager 41
Is your brother the spawn of satan?
daddysgirl8 21
Why did I think he was going to put his dick in your mouth?
sosogross 16
Sounds like just the type of thing my little brother would do. I feel you, OP...
messymessiah 11
Ah brothers. Don't you love 'em?
GamerPerson 19
That's ******* gross! I hoped you punched at asshole in his face!