Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, my grandma and I went to visit one of her friends. The elderly gentleman told me I'd grown into a very beautiful young woman, to which my grandma replied, "Have you started in on the sherry early this evening, Henry?" FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
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Top comments
rnarshmallow 21
I've found that my Grandma also doesn't have a filter when talking.. and that's sober
Whatapuffchild 23
How round is a shape and shapes are beautiful. Look on the bright side, youre a beautiful sun that shines on everyones world.
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Comments (23)
dirty_dan_ 15
That's just how drunk people are. Get over it.
shadow1248 23
Aw, that's mean! maybe you should keep the wine away from her next time she visits...
Brandon1000 10
Tell her she'll be dead in a couple years
jenjen53 7
That really sucks, OP. She might have been drunk on 2 glasses. As someone else mentioned, mixing alcohol and meds could do that. But there's another possibility. Don't know how old she is, but she might have dementia. If that's the case, there probably isn't any filter. Try not to let it get to you.
ronnixoxo 18
you should have said, 'oh yeah ? you're so DECREPIT.'
hipposteve 21
don't take her seriously. she wasn't herself :)
gracehi 33
Weird. That's what I tell my cat when I'm drunk... and when I'm sober.
samichiss 5
Well I'm assuming she's probably right.
BliggityBlop 8
My grandma drinks more than two bottles (yes I said bottles) a day so I feel your pain to some extent, OP.
Railroader 16
better than being a square
False_Stupidity 42
Why? It's hip to be square.