Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick, which isn't unusual we do a lot of drag. While I was applying it, he started to make gross noises and, after a quick glance, I realized he had a massive erection. He then whispered, "Mmmm don't stop now." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML
Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, at my job in a cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like yours. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML
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Top comments
penguinz 0
danggg sooo gross
maedoc 0
well did you finish him off at least?
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Comments (171)
Boogers 0
FYL LOL -- Thanks for posting! It made me laugh...
alealovespurple 0
this made me laugh soooo hard, ...my family is staring at me now.
ayuhme 0
i would quit right then and there
omglolydi 0
Everyone thinks they're alright until they get something in em that they don't want in em But I agree, your life is f*****!
heartagram223 0
i work as a beauty expert as well, and have done some makeup applications on men but i can honestly say nothing like this has ever happened! i dont know how i would react hahahaha thats just ******
AntiChrist7 0
any mann who wants to wear lipstick is strange and not in his right mind.
thatsXnotmyXname 0
LMFAO omfg..wow.. thats hilarious ahahhaha
chapmmel 0
HAHAHAHA! Thats gross... lol but hilarious!! Poor you :( atleast you made that man feel good :P maybe he was so desperate for pleasure that a girl touching him was enough !
poolshark 0
Is it wrong that I can't stop picturing Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison, just sitting there in his wood-paneled living room smearing red lipstick all around his mouth?
Hazimius 0
Ugh...