Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered, "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you!" He broke up with me on speaker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML
Today, I went on a date I was really enjoying. My ex-boyfriend called halfway through. When I answered, he told me he wanted to get back together and couldn’t stop thinking about me. I didn’t realize my phone was on speaker. My date heard everything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML
Today, I butt-dialed my ex-boyfriend while venting to my best friend about how hot but emotionally unavailable he is. I realized this when there was a lull in the conversation and I heard his tinny little voice coming out of the phone, saying, "I can hear you." FML
Today, I was having a heated argument with my boyfriend over the phone. Mid-sentence, I yelled, “You never listen to me!” Alexa, from across the room, replied, “I’m listening.” My boyfriend started laughing so hard that he hung up. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend, "We need to talk." He said, "I know". So we met after school, and he said he was OK with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
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Top comments
kewlcat 0
hahaha sucks ps. never go on speakerphone with your boyfriend with friends around. also its better than him texting you..i guess
ChasinParkedCars 0
Is it just me or did she just call her ex "tiger"?
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Comments (97)
mcguyver98 0
good ridence!
Signposthead 0
Hey, she called him Tiger? How is that YDI, he could be Tiger Woods...
Mancubus 2
I guess your friend won...
Shyman4ever 0
Maybe tiger is his real name like Tiger Woods. Btw, FAIL!!!
another_guy 0
that's why you never boast with your relationships!
lovelykendra5 0
I still think you have the better boyfriend.
pyros09 0
ahaha WIN
senior_dingdong 0
anyone legally named "tiger" is my idol
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Oh, and FMLs naturally run in cycles. Haven't you ever read one, thought "Something like that happened to me!", then submitted your similar story? Not all FMLs actually happened today.
senior_dingdong 0
did "lion" dump you the same way? negative on the trolling affirmative on the bitterness radar - mine just blew up
xoxoCheer 0
Guess your friend won.. Anyone with the name Tiger is pretty awesome! But it's a sucky pet name.. That's what my dad called my brother. Weird! And at least it's better than him texting you.. Ya know, too scared to say it.
flying_vegan 0
YDI for saying Tiger. Lame names are lame.
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
Agreed.