Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML
Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
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Top comments
thatgirl1299 11
Smooth move
lemonzone25 17
You couldn't have just turned around and went outside instead?
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Comments (81)
golden_warrior 23
And you are the same guy who couldn't lift any weight at the gym. Today wasn't a good day for you *ice cube voice*
jrock9093 18
Smooth drunk idiot you could of just turned around and went outside I think this one is on you buddy
every1luvsboners 11
Could of? You sure are dumb, boy.
rosenkrieger223 24
Punctuation is your friend...
taziiscool 5
Well.... there's no reason to "wine" about it.
Nyx_fml 23
Doing so could be in OP's gins.
carecow 16
If you were that drunk I doubt you'd remember the outcome of the night anyway.
gc327072 31
Well, he remembered something, obviously
rosenkrieger223 24
Not everyone blacks out when they're that drunk. I very rarely did back when I used to party that hard.
hienzburgess 9
it's okay, plenty more girl like that in the sea. not so much of a big loss.
_btwice 7
Why didn't you just go outside?
ohSNAPyall 27
So you went through the wrong door. Why didn't you try to go find her afterwards? I'm sure she would have waited long enough for you to walk across the bar again.
sanecatlady 13
YDI for getting so drunk you could have done something REALLY stupid, and next thing you know you have an STD or gotten her pregnant.
perdix 31
A "really nice girl" when you're drunk could be both ugly and nasty when you sober up.
jw90 18
Poor you OP. Maybe she'll give you another chance.