Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML
Today, I woke up to the most excruciating pain in my jaw. No dentist that takes my insurance has any openings, and the one doctor I can see to get antibiotics isn’t in. FML
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, my dentist kept staring at me with a worried expression while working on me. Concerned that something was wrong with my teeth, I asked her what was the matter. She replied, "I'm not a dermatologist, but you should go to a doctor, I think you have staph." She was referring to my acne. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. The numbing medication didn't work, so I felt everything. I was in so much pain that I accidentally bit down on the dentist's finger, causing him to yell in agony. Now, I have to find a new dentist. FML
Today, I had an appointment with my dentist to check for cavities. He told me that most of my teeth have cavities, and that I may need a root canal. In fact, I ended up actually getting a painful root canal. FML
Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML
Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML
Today, after having toothaches for about two years, which persisted even after I had the crack in my tooth repaired, I went to a different dentist and it turns out that the actual culprit is a hole in the neighboring tooth, which has had years to grow, unnoticed under the edge of my gums. FML
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Top comments
TrippingOnAcid 29
My diagnosis: Web MD induced hypochondria.
rhysfucker 24
(Red Foreman voice) Dumbass.
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Comments (73)
Kirbyzx 16
Uhh how old are you? I've had those things nearly every other day since middle school.
Excalibur6669 15
Was it in your mouth? Or on the exterior skin?
lucasj2345 7
you don't sound too bright.