Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML
Today, I received a phone call from my 91-year-old grandpa. He was lost driving somewhere in my town. I then spent the next few hours trying to teach him how to send his location until his phone died. FML
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML
Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
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Top comments
may14th 26
He just cares about you
Zelphoric 25
No better alarm clock than a crazy old guy with a gun!!! You'll be out of your bed and out the door before you can say "Don't shoot me Gramps!"
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Comments (77)
Tiggerz101 10
He sounds pretty bad ass to me. Lol
yniguez09 14
Good ol grandpa.
amsterdamgirl 20
it's a little bit out there but also kinda cool. he loves you!
momac86 17
Be thankful that you still have a grandpa and that he cares about you
TheNewGuy03 29
Despite him being irrationally possessive, the bright side to all of this is that if some shit goes down, you KNOW Grandpa has your back!!!
daynanance 9
Your grandfather texts?
CosmicElk 26
Hey OP it just means your granddad has your back, thats awesome :)
cupcakekate9 14
I smell a Taken 4...
Distantsoul 8
Overly attached grandparent
vikky538 29
Dont mess with grandpa's. They are real badass