Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML
Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML
Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML
Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML
Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
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Top comments
CherishFlowers 0
LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha
Carribu 0
How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?
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Comments (254)
lovesplaytoy 0
welll there is always positives and negatives to everything! just look on the positive side , u no longer have a cyst on ur but!
fugitsu_fml 0
get over it you pussy.
save_me_08 0
What What In The Butt.
froggy123000 0
#s 11, 13 and 17 ROFL! And that does suck. Couldn't they have given you a bandage or something else like that? Well, at least now if you get your period, you'll be protected! =P
LackOfControl 0
Just like they always say... ULTRA ABSORBANCY.
FullFrontalFail 0
What is with all the chicks yelling at the OP? Wearing a pad sucks, and it's a girl thing. That's embarrassing to a dude. Just because we have periods does not make us somehow superior to this guy.
chunkymonkey618 0
Yeah, #37, you're guessing because you don't know. Stop whining, you big baby. Women have to wear one for a week every month. Get over yourself.
LackOfControl 0
#88 ... yes because wearing pads makes us feel surperior. :|
LackOfControl 0
ohhhhshizzz 0
#37: you have no clue what cramps feel like think of it this way. and this is every month. someone trying to claw its way out of you and then feeling fat and oh then there the lucky ones who have to poop all the time. yeahh, a cyst feel soo much worse than THAT. suck it up and be a man.