Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML
Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML
Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML
Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML
Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CherishFlowers 0
LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha
Carribu 0
How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (254)
jujujuice 0
#18, lmao. cyst juices. hahahah.
justmyluckx3 0
That's a bummer.. haha.
melissa_10 7
omg..thats sucks!! poor you.. =(
Chibi_fml 9
Oh, get over yourself. I agree with #37 and #68. At least the only ramaification was having to TEMPORARILY wear a maxi pad. It could be a hell of a lot worse. This isn't an FML or a YDI. It'd be no worse than if a girl had to wear it.
angeldo6695 0
well, at least you get to experience something most guy never would, write it on your resume
BaldOuting 0
no one has to know - unless someone you know figured out this is you.
Newtons_Cradle 0
hahaha, well now you know how we (girls) feel!! still, sucks for you. sounds really unpleasant. >.
Newtons_Cradle 0
look on the bright side..... at least you don't need a tampon
soaperguy29 0
This exact thing happened to me just recently. At first I wore the maxi pads, but I had to get the surgery to completely remove it after it was drained and I actually had to carry around a pouch that was connected to my butt by a tube to collect the fluids. Definitely FYL. Also its called a Pilonidal Cyst.
dr_house_MD 0
# 11 i lmfao