Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML
Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML
Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML
Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML
Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
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Top comments
CherishFlowers 0
LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha
Carribu 0
How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?
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Comments (254)
msbrightside 0
hahaha sucks... at least u know how it feels
youswallow 2
omg hahaha
Talenie 0
put some gauze on that shit!!
_mcs_ 0
Seriously, you'll get over it. Worse things have happened to other people, at least you don't have to wear one for a longer period of time.
DoomSkuller 28
Hah, "period."
lowcapacityx 0
WHAT THE F!? What have your been doing to your ass that you somehow got a cyst? Let's just hope no one slaps you on the ass, that'd be an awkward conversation.
couldbeworse55 0
You had a cyst removed. That's a good thing. It's not like you had a heart attack. You're not even wearing a diaper, and your wound is healing. Suck it up and quit crying.
Carribu 0
#20, are you serious? You don't know what a cyst is?
silveredmelee 0
The cyst you got is a Pilonidal Cyst, I got one too. And I also had to wear the pad on my butt. It sucked but it heals up pretty fast, only a couple months until it was completely gone. Just make sure your shirt covers your bum, or there could be some awkward questions.
JackDupp 11
Well at least you'll be able to ride a bike and play tennis now.
Sonalis 9
Well, from a woman's perspective, you'll get used to it....It'll soon feel like it's not even there. And just be glad you only have to do this for two weeks, and not a few days out of every single month.