Today, and ever since I got pregnant, I hate how my husband smells. I hate his perfume, his toothpaste, his body odor, everything. When I tell him, he feels offended. I just want a hygienic man to be a little less hygienic, is that too much to ask? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband is furious with me for hurting his daughter’s feelings. Neither he nor his ex make her shower and she smells disgusting! It’s nearly impossible to even sit in the same room with her, as her odor changes the smell of the entire space. All I did was suggest a bath and she cried. FML
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my husband is going on his fifth consecutive day without a shower. He’s been working 16-hour shifts, and though I'm empathetic to his exhaustion, his foul body odor has overtaken the bedroom, and his excretions have discolored his side of the bed. I fear the worst. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, my nose finally unblocked after a week of having a cold. Now all I can smell is the disgusting stench of my husband's pits. We've argued three times already about his refusal to shower more than once a week. FML
Today, my boyfriend announced he has stopped wearing deodorant because he thinks his BO smells "manly." FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, multiple customers have complained about my body odor. Not only can I not smell anything, but I shower three times a day and brush my teeth seven times a day. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
Enhanced senses seems to be an occasional side effect of pregnancy. Talk to your doctor, and talk to your husband - maybe there are other products that dial down the fragrance that the doc can help with.
FluffythePink 23
Ah, the Joys of pregnancy... Sorry, love, but hubby is going to be smelling unbearable until you have the baby. Tell him it's the pregnancy hormones and ask him to just go unscented until the chemical madness eases up. Zing toothpaste do non minty flavours.
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Comments (3)
JasonThorn 23
Enhanced senses seems to be an occasional side effect of pregnancy. Talk to your doctor, and talk to your husband - maybe there are other products that dial down the fragrance that the doc can help with.
d j mom 9
so maybe he can not use cologne for a while. also unscented deodorant and baking soda for toothpaste. good luck.
FluffythePink 23
Ah, the Joys of pregnancy... Sorry, love, but hubby is going to be smelling unbearable until you have the baby. Tell him it's the pregnancy hormones and ask him to just go unscented until the chemical madness eases up. Zing toothpaste do non minty flavours.