Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML
Today, my abusive ex-husband thought it was a good idea to buy the house next door and start living there immediately. Looks like I gotta move. FML
Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML
Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML
Today, my now ex-best friend decided to sell his house. This wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't asked me to live in it and look after it, which I've been doing for two years while he's abroad, and is the result of his loud-mouthed, obese mother leading him around by the nose, and forcing both of us to pay her bills. FML
Today, my new neighbor broke into our new house because his key didn't work. We just closed on the house this week and changed the locks when footprints were found in the bathtub after the cleaning crew went through. FML
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Top comments
whaime 10
Time to call the police! lol
rocker_chick23 27
Call the police.
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Comments (67)
martin8337 36
Crack is whack.
ishchandan 14
Weeuweeuweeuweeuweeu
vikky538 29
well one of the problems you got is a kid who knows every door and window at your home...may be you need to security system to your house....
ZombieSazza 34
I agree with everyone who has said call the Police. Who the hell believes their parents pay someone to pretend they're the new owner? You have to be really thick as shit to think that! Also I'd like to know why people are voting "YDI", how the hell does OP deserve that shit?!
thewife5 19
Just the crack heads are hitting YDI ;)
worldclassrager 41
Well do you have contact with the previous owners? That should get rid of him
KevenV 10
Sounds like the plot to a movie lol. But seriously that sucks. If he doesnt stop get the popo involved
trell000 13
Op is his name Tyrone biggums?
flipthebirdfuxku 10
I would tell that crackhead that if he ever steps foot on your property again, you will immediately call the police, and that this is the only/last warning he will be receiving. Then follow through. Maybe install a camera/webcam to record him as evidence, if necessary. Scare tactics, anyone?
Omniprism 15
Call the cops. And possibly find out his name so you have it in case you need to get a restraining order. Good luck.
chelseaalise 12
oh lord. I'd be to scared to stay there.