Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was carrying a bowl of cereal to the couch when my cat ran between my feet. I somehow saved every drop of milk but launched the cereal across the room. My cat immediately ate the cereal off of the floor and then walked away looking like he had planned it. FML
Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
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Top comments
junkinmahcranium 0
Be gentle with cats. You piss em off, you suffer. It's a way of life.
umbilicalbiotch 0
Im sorry for your loss. Every bowl counts
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Comments (106)
HeyThereGorgeous 0
Um alright image this, cat haters, you're sleeping on this big pink think you trust when all of a sudden you are dowsed with freezing milk and soggy flakes of cereal all over your nice clean self. Your claws come out automatically as defense (it's a reaction and your brain isn't ben directly involved) and you leap up. Typically your going to scratch by accident or on purpose. Duh! And @3 ... The OP was probably in some kind of relaxed position (feet up, leaning back, etc) and brought the bowl to their face while reading a text, cracked up, forgot about the bowl and just dropped it on the cat. Wham! - Personal exp I do this all the time except not on my cat
yesleknikki 0
it's ok that's what my cat and my friends cat does to me ALL the time. you look back on this and laugh
p89hg69 0
are you insane or something? pet should BY NO MEANS harm the keeper, that's sick
cLaAaNdEsTiNe 0
whats with all the douchey cat haters? cats are way better than stupid annoying dogs. cats are low maintenance, dont jump on you, dont slobber/lick you obnoxiously, and dont bark. (not true to all dogs, just the majority.)
blueslushy 0
umm...cats dont jump on you? They most certainly do!
purplesucker 0
Totally agree on all those reasons why cats are waaaaaaaay better than dogs. And in response to the OP: Ever thought of putting your cereal bowl down before you pick up a text? It's not that hard . . .
lexi6989 0
hahahahahaha that sucks.
MrsWorldwide 0
LMAO! Too funny!
toastywafers 0
What was the text?
grimmelok 0
This happened to me the other day, except I'm not a cat. But I was sleeping on someone's lap.
Sapphy 0
this is why i dont have cats. im much to afraid of being scratched. hope you feel better soon!
littlegirllove 0
... and that's why I don't like cats(:
hydronium 0
Or don't. Declawing would be like cutting off your fingers at the knuckle near the tips! Instead, get some Soft Paws or something.