Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML
Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriend's house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles, I slipped my hand into her sister's back pocket and squeezed her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out, and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "What birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML
Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML
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Top comments
redshortsx 0
oh wow your sister was the stripper at your birthday. that's ******* gross
Pankreas 0
Uhm, of course this makes sense. He hired a stripper to jump out of a cake, and the stripper in the cake was his sister. Ouch.
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Comments (301)
Mortoli 30
Lol should have sent her back and asked for a refund lmao.
Baller_Bob 17
Oh gawd
mthurston 14
I woulda jumped in the cake and ****** her senseless. In my dreams anyway.
kunjac0945 21
Hope she gave you a discount. It'd just be rude of her otherwise.
dreadlocmask 15
Awkward. Also for the people who don't understand, him and his friends wanted a stripper, therefore contacted the agency at which she works for, and they sent her to his birthday party. That is how he found out his sister is a stripper.
PikarooArtist 17
Ouch, sorry you had to find out that way OP. Hell I found out through my insane mom that my aunt used to be a stripper, I know it sucks to find out that one of your family members does this for a living (even through something as awkward as your situation) but hopefully things will get better between you two.
Scaleon1 14
What a night.
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
And when your mother said "I have two wonderful children" she meant "I have two lying toe-rags"
LyricaSilvan 30
There are not enough words in the world to describe how awkward that must have been..
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Two things I need to ask: Have your friends ever met your sister? If they were your close friends, then I would imagine that they most likely would've met her and would've recognized her before hiring her for the party. And let's say that for some reason, your friends never met her, so that leads to this question; did they give her some information on the party before hiring her? I know "Jon" is a common name and all, but if she were informed of who the party is for, and saw the date of the party (if it were held on your birthday and not on an earlier or later day) she probably would've guessed it was for you and would've turned the job down. Either way, you don't seem to have very good friends.