Anonymous
United States
Nothing better to do
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
fall3nrain
United States
Good boy
Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
sleepy
United States
Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML
Anonymous
Perth, Australia
He's still a very good boy
Today, my dog barked at his own reflection in the mirror for five full minutes. When I tried to calm him down, he started barking at me like I was in on the conspiracy that seemed to be going on in his head. FML
aXel
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
lessinterestingthanadog
United States
Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML
BadBreath
United States
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Anonymous
Stinky
Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML
Anonymous
Manchester, United Kingdom
Bad boy
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Anonymous
It found you
Today, a dog came up to me while I was sitting on my porch. I used my belt as a leash to go try to find its owner. After an hour of looking in the rain, I gave up and let it go. Now I'm back in my house and it won't stop pawing and barking at my door. It's 3:00 a.m. FML
A
United States
Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML
Top comments
saIty 17
"Why is my master looking at m-SQUIRRAL!!!!!"
missyj0 12
Sounds like you need a hobby..
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Comments (197)
PYLrulz 17
I'll help... Your dog says... Feed me more biscuits, and quit looking at me like a dumbass!
Birdie_Sage 0
The dog is the one reading your mind.
niyah4sho 11
Most likely along the lines of "hungry/thirsty", "gotta poop/pee" or "need to hump something"
ch3s 4
Coincidentally that is also what guys are thinking.
Screamozombilove 3
wow.. you must've be really bored. so.. succeeded?
Screamozombilove 3
*been
Wisc 0
This FML makes me wonder what OP was ever thinking, YDI; seems like there is plenty of recents that do too.
TheRealBrianGrif 7
Funny it only takes us 5 minutes to read yours
theburtonbullet 5
If it took you 5 minutes to read that then I'm sorry to say you're retarded
bertman21 5
Your wierd
RedPillSucks 33
Your weird what? I hate the suspense!!!
DaKillaMafia 2
Was your dog calling you a dummy in its mind?
dessyrae 0
This doesn't seem like a fml it sounds more like a mlia thing going on here..