Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML
Today, and over the years, my wife has methodically destroyed our house, insisting she is good at DIY. Our house is either in bits, half-finished or falling apart. I had it confirmed by a realtor, who assessed the house as worth 100 grand less than we paid for it. It’s a building site with a roof. FML
Today, I bought a somewhat rundown house and started working on restoring it, cutting the grass, and doing exterior work. People from the neighborhood have asked me to stop, saying I'm "gentrifying" and "erasing the neighborhood character." I wasn't aware neglect and graffiti counted as character. FML
Today, my partner and I went to the inspection of a house we wanted to buy. The whole roof was illegal. This is the second time our realtor has shown us a house with major issues. FML
Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said, "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML
Today, I submitted an offer on a house. I got a call a few minutes later saying that it had collapsed. FML
Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML
Today, my boss explicitly told me to demolish a half-built house that was 50 feet too far from where it should have been and was actually on someone else’s land. I knocked it down, then it turned out to be the wrong one, and my boss threw me under the bus and swore he’d told me to demolish the other house. FML
Today, we lost our dream house because the current owner heard us discussing our plans to landscape the massive back garden, and she decided she couldn’t sell to someone who planned to rip out all the flowerbeds she spent years cultivating. Why sell the house then, selfish cow? FML
Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My boss's daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much that she made an offer on the house. We were one week away from making an offer. FML
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Top comments
jentrynicole 20
Time to find a new realtor and get a second opinion. Maybe you just need someone who is actually willing to help you find ways to sell your house, not someone who isn't willing to work with you and make it better. That's assuming that your house actually isn't something that needs to be bulldozed with a little work.
Nathan_R 10
You can't polish turd, no matter how hard you try
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Comments (36)
M_Kearn 3
Seriously look for another realtor. We had one who wanted to sell our house for a very low amount, 'just to get it to sell', they said. Just because one house in the whole area was being foreclosed on, and we suspected she just didn't want to do the work for the 'small' house. You value your house, they should, too.
RememberSchlitz 9
Fun fact: you don't need a real estate agent for anything. They do nothing that you cannot do yourself with a few telephone calls and *maybe* a couple hours with an attorney. Save their 3.5-7% commission and do the research yourself. List it online and show it yourself.
laden_swallow09 35
The phrase "lipstick on a pig" comes to mind.
thebigguy2756 6
That hurts
kirkaygri 18
Real estate agents, sadly, rarely ever know much about houses. They want it to sell, sell quick and sell priced to line their pockets. You occasionally get a good one who just loves houses or wants to help people find their dream home but they're a needle in a haystack. If you're proud of your home, I'm sure it's just lovely because of the love you put in it. Find a new agent and if they ask why, tell them flat out. They'll see their loose tongue lost them a commission.
hahaonyoubiatch 6
Wow your cleaning must be crap then
jvanevery 19
during the housing bubble here in South Florida a lot of very nice homes were bulldozed to be replaced by multimillion-dollar homes
Scorpion245 3
Fire emblem boi?
kevingirl 6
Oh come on. unless you're living in a hovel I can't imagine a realtor saying that.