Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to 'break it up' with a gloved finger, and then he sent me home with directions on how to administer an enema. I do not recommend trying to give an enema to a kid that doesn't want one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I took my 8 month-old to Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
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Top comments
CheekyRaccoon 27
You'd might want her to drink more water and have more fiber. I've heard soylent could do the trick. I wouldn't recommend green soylent though, because I've heard some bad stuff about it..
gosh_mate 30
Ahh the joys of parenthood... But had you exhausted all other options? It's not really an ideal treatment type.
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Comments (50)
waleedma 18
What happened!!!!!!!
copydude 7
My daughter had issues with constipation a few times as a young girl, at 9 a child can be quite willful and stubborn. My suggestion it you is this... wait a while longer, she was just traumatized by the doctor using is finger in her rectum, then you take her home and tell her you want to shove a plastic tube there. I know that the constipation is making her very uncomfortable. First talk to her, help her understand why it is necessary, as the pressure builds she will seek you out for you or her father to help her, (she may have a trust issue with you, since you "let" the doctor put their finger there, I had to do my daughters first) have her take a warm bath and warm up the enema, we used fleets they don't look as intimidating as the big bag with the hose. Be patient and courteous she will see the need and when she starts to have relief/release she will be more amiable to future treatments.
tamesenicole 27
Start making her eat a high fiber diet and plenty of water as for the enema make her lay on her left side and keep asking if she's ok because you're stimulating the vagus nerve and if she says her chest feels funny then stop.
Areare1243pet 2
I had this problem all the time. Try giving her Yogurt, gummies (like gummy bears or worms) or align. They all work!
jairolover 25
NO ONE WANTS ONE.
Julia LaMarca 6
Why would you take your 9 year old daughter to a male dr for this?!?!