No thanks

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

Welcome back!

Today, I realized my family is more excited to see my girlfriend than they are to see me. FML

Time to bail

Today, my girlfriend likes playing games on her phone more than she likes me. FML

Today, after my girlfriend told her mother that she is seeing a different guy than me because her mother doesn’t approve of me, I learned that she is also seeing said guy. FML

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

Is it not your baby as well?

Today, I'm starting to realize my wife's baby loves me more than my wife. FML

Today, my boyfriend's mother hung a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend up. We've been together for 3 years now. Guess she really does hate me. FML

Casual

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML