No fun

Got something for you

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

Mr Tickle

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

Rules are for squares

Today, my boss's oldest son challenged me to a chess game. I've been practicing a lot, so I decided to humor him. He was a challenging opponent; not because he was skilled, however, but because he was trying to cheat almost constantly. I felt exasperated, rather than accomplished, when I beat him. FML

That backfired

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML

Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

Wankers!

Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML

Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML