Today, my neighbour is suing me because she got stung in the face by a wasp, a wasp that came from my garden into hers and stung her, therefore it must be my fault. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my neighbors threatened to sue me because a six-foot branch fell off one of my trees and into their yard, hitting nothing on the way down. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, I was helping a friend tidy their garden and I lifted up a big sheet of plywood. Turns out there was a wasp nest under it. Also, turns out my friend knew it was there and let me disturb it because they “wanted to see what would happen.” About 600 fucking wasp stings, that’s what happens, you twat. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
Pretty sure you can argue that that counts as an Act of God. Good luck suing him. There's a film about that with Billy Connolly in it, the man who sued god. Absolutely hilarious.
d j mom 9
oh my gosh you forgot to put a leash on your pet wasp that day......WTF I hope they laugh her out of court and award you for her being a greedy dumb ass.
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Comments (3)
FluffythePink 23
Pretty sure you can argue that that counts as an Act of God. Good luck suing him. There's a film about that with Billy Connolly in it, the man who sued god. Absolutely hilarious.
d j mom 9
oh my gosh you forgot to put a leash on your pet wasp that day......WTF I hope they laugh her out of court and award you for her being a greedy dumb ass.
DLBL 23
She can sue but she won't win. I would countersue for court costs for such a ridiculous suit.