Today, I didn't know I had a pill stuck in my throat until I coughed and it flew across the table, narrowly missing the weird guy sitting across from me in the break room. Turns out that weird guy is my new supervisor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML
Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
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Top comments
littlekellilee 45
Try covering your mouth when you cough.
DMA 11
I hope you did what any sane person would’ve done and casually picked the pill back up, placed it in your mouth, sucking your fingers as you withdrew them. Then with a wink, say, “That’s so weird; I always swallow.”
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Comments (9)
littlekellilee 45
Try covering your mouth when you cough.
RichardPencil 32
“You expectorate pills randomly, and you’re calling me weird?”
DMA 11
I hope you did what any sane person would’ve done and casually picked the pill back up, placed it in your mouth, sucking your fingers as you withdrew them. Then with a wink, say, “That’s so weird; I always swallow.”
ThrottleJockey 36
Was it a Viagra? I'll bet your neck was stiff.
TheSminty1 17
You coughed without your hand in front of your mouth allowing a tablet that had somehow not dissolved in your throat to shoot across the room and he's the weird one?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'm wondering how you didn't know a pill, or anything, was stuck in your throat. Normally you can tell that pretty quickly.