Today, after explicitly telling everyone we know that we were having a date night to ourselves, my wife’s sister turned up at our house because she “heard you were all by yourselves without the kids so I thought I’d come over to keep you company.” Never a fucking moment to ourselves. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was supposed to be date night but my sister's husband was taken to hospital, so I agreed to to babysit my nieces. My boyfriend went out drinking by himself because, “it’s not his fault I have nieces and can’t say no to my sister, so why should his night be ruined?” FML
Today, I wanted to be alone for once, so I went out for dinner, planning to go to the cinema afterwards. My sister ambushed me at the restaurant because she’d heard I was stressed out and wanted to be alone, so she thought she should keep me company while I was alone to make me feel better. FML
Today, my wife finally let our kids stay the night at my mom's house, meaning we had our first night totally alone together in 6 years. She spent all night texting my mom for updates on the kids or on the phone to her sister, so I watched a film by myself then went to bed bored at 8:15 p.m. FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I asked my wife if I could go out for guys night. She said yes, and that it sounded so fun she decided to come too. Guys night was ruined. We couldn’t do anything without feeling her silently judging us. Guys night lasted two hours before they all left sober and pissed as hell at me. FML
Today, I went shopping with my sister’s husband to help him choose a birthday gift for her. My sister’s insane friend saw us, followed us, and caused a huge screaming scene in the middle of the mall accusing us of having an affair. FML
Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML
Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. I took her out to her favorite restaurant to celebrate. The waitress serving us looked oddly familiar but I didn’t think anything of it until she said when we collected the check, “Aren’t you my sister’s husband?” I forgot she had a younger sister who worked here. FML
Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML
Today, I came home to an empty house. I found a note from my wife telling me she was bisexual and found love in a woman. I FaceTimed my sister to tell her about it, and who do I see with her? My wife. FML
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Top comments
Jachin777 7
You're allowed to turn people away. It's your house. Your privacy.
mike3775 39
Why did you let her in? When people arrive unannounced at my house, I tell them hi and bye.
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Comments (11)
mike3775 39
Why did you let her in? When people arrive unannounced at my house, I tell them hi and bye.
Jachin777 7
You're allowed to turn people away. It's your house. Your privacy.
Hangryko 32
So you reminded her of your plans and shut the door in her entitled face, right?
randybryant799 21
Lock the damn door and don't let anyone in. it's your house. You're allowed to do that.
RichardPencil 32
I take it you got the pretty sister and weren't into a pity threesome? Could have been a lot of "******* moments" as you put it.
1known 34
She needed company.
sirrubberduckie 37
She needed to **** off.
mackdeezy 22
Here's what I'm more likely to believe. Your wife's sister pounced on an opportunity to hang out with her sister without the interruption of child obligations, and she may even suggest an impromptu girls night out. Yes, I'm implying you're officially a third wheel. This is why I support what everyone else is saying and SHUT. THAT. SHIT. DOWN!
kitten79TX 5
That's when you say, "We're child free because it's date night. Goodbye, have a nice evening." It's not that hard
nammavic1 12
Bounce the bitch on out the door.
diraven 15
Just start doing it and she'll probably leave