Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I was eating a donut and watching TV with my cat. I saw a dark glob on my shirt and ate it, thinking it was dropped icing. It was my cat's earwax. Disgusted, I ran to the bathroom and tried to rinse with hydrogen peroxide. I sprayed it in my eye. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
duckie227 22
That's not where that goes, hate to break it to you
Jdeluxh 12
You must really suck at making pb&j sandwiches.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
arysmomee 2
you are retarded . how the h*** do you get peanut butter in your eye fyl for being stupid.
leadman1989 16
Who hasn't had some gooey sticky nut butter in or around their eyes at some point.
ikickgingers 15
*edit* nm wrong reply
mismonroe 0
In your case, more than a time or two it's safe to presume?
leadman1989 16
I'm sure it was my sexiness that threw you off... rubs twenty pack. c;
jellyD 1
Wrong eye...
usmcgalie 0
Why would you put peanut butter in your eye in the first place?
zombiecommie 0
Man are you mistaken
abbyhoneywaffles 11
Peanut butter ?! In your eye?! Why was this occurring ?!
crimsonlover4 31
Whoaness O_o good luck with that
kemosabe_fml 0
You got your peanut butter in my eye, you got your eye in my peanut butter
TheJashinist 8
How...?
tomtato 10
You learn something new everyday friend!