Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML
Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML
Today, I was yet again cat-called while out jogging, with many men calling me "sexy lady" and even commenting on my "birthing hips", all because I chose to wear compression pants. I'm not even a woman, I'm just a guy with a really big butt. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, since my dad decided he's tired of not being completely comfortable in his own home, he now wears only a knee-length robe without underwear so he can "really enjoy the breeze". I've seen more balls in a few days than a pro baseball player does his entire career. FML
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
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Top comments
Jarvo_666 6
Some acid will get that image right off. :)
sandwichmaterial 5
me gusta.
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Comments (244)
jaff23 11
you should've looked away
aturcios1 7
thats so disgustingg gross
Rainbow_dumpster 28
what has been seen, cannot be unseen. x_x
4everFastpitch5 2
true that
Im_a_GOAT 8
the feeling is mutual...
JakeLee 6
makes me think of jackass. haha
KiddNYC1O 22
Today, I saw quite the opposite. This girl was hiking with her friend with short shorts so short her ass was hanging exposing her crease. I almost crashed, would've been worth it. Giggity.
Calyx_fml 22
That was Zeus.
hansbans11 0
Are you sure it wasn't Johnny Knoxville?
KiddNYC1O 22
Borat, guaranteed.
ToY_MaKeR 0
why were you thinking of the old dudes saggy nuts?
KiddNYC1O 22
It's okay, it was the Albino from Big Daddy.
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
be thankful it wasn't the Greek gods, they would've had him running in a toga
4everFastpitch5 2
that's nasty. next time try really hard to pull your eyes away!