Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said, "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a first date and wanted to tell my date a joke. I started laughing halfway through telling it because I found it hilarious. She didn’t laugh. Turns out, I completely forgot the punchline and just sat there cackling like a lunatic. Now I’m getting ghosted. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to crack a joke by saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not a serial killer.” My date replied, completely serious, “That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.” The rest of the date was eaten in awkward silence and vague small talk. I'm not going back into the dating pool ever again. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML
Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML
Today, I went to the movies with this guy I'd started dating. During the movie, I thought it would be cool and funny to make sarcastic comments. When he dropped me off home, he told me that it was the worst date ever and to not talk to him again for being "annoying and obnoxious." FML
Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
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Top comments
Hildy93 21
Can you do a follow up and tell us the joke??
aliezzo 19
What an asshole. Screw him he doesn't deserve you op.
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Comments (120)
more4me 27
What a douche!
DasKonigsEnde 9
Maybe you should start being funny. Or attractive
Dexter83_fml 17
His loss. A woman with a sense of humour is sexy as far as I'm concerned
tarlax 11
What if it's a shockingly bad one?
a1_z9 10
He probably just wanted you to stare adoringly at him while he droned on about how great he was. Hope you find someone who appreciates your jokes instead of being one next time!
ariasmake1 9
Sorry op, sounds like he was laughing at you, not your joke.
alex_gen 39
Want to know a joke? Women's rights. But no, seriously, whether the joke was funny or not, he shouldn't have treated you with such disrespect. He's probably an egotistical asswipe who can't notice what a great catch you are. A girl with a sense of humor? He's crazy to turn that down! He probably wanted you for your looks and not your emotional and mental attributes. Like others said, you definitely dodged a bullet and can easily find a better person! Please don't let this get you too down!
Algorithm 24
You can almost smell the fedora.
XuJingyu 14
Tips
tarlax 11
I'm just gonna take a wild guess here and assume it was a racist joke. I mean, it wouldn't be a proper FML comment without insane offensive retarded baseless assumptions, would it. So quirky.
SauceySarah 30
That made me really sad for you OP because I feel like this is something that would happen to me. I'm sorry.
Vlen_fml 20
all these commenters going "oh look an elder scrolls reference LoLZ". if you had any respect for the master you'd just pay your respects to Sithis and move on. that said: Hail Sithis.
enginsteve 17
**** that guy. Maybe he'll get by hit by a car.