Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML
Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as "bored" the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML
Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML
Today, I got an eviction notice. I confronted my roommate, who’s supposed to be covering rent with the half I give her. She said, “Uhhh, about that.. I got Lady Gaga orchestra seat tickets, do you mind covering rent for a while and I’ll pay you back?” She makes three times my income and I can’t afford rent by myself. FML
Today, I got nearly kicked out of the room I rent because I refuse to close my curtains at night. Apparently, my landlady thinks it doesn't look nice when people pass by and look. My room is on the third floor and I just want to see the stars. FML
lmfao I can imagine how this convo would go... "Uhhh hey...you know what, hold on...(on italian please) you know what? I dont think we're gonna work out (oh...swiss)" haha
Well, unless he was ordering a sweet onion chicken teriyaki, I'm sure you came away the winner.