Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
caitoLo 0
someBODY or someTHING?
knd_34 0
Nice use of the word "shat". People get that wrong all the time.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
lifeislife_fml 0
Why the hell would your wife want you to leave your shoes outside the hotel room? Anyone could take them...or shit in them in your case. And for the people discussing the word "shat", it's an awesome word. When I read this FML, I was like wooo shat!
MobMentality 0
Wouldn't have happened if you weren't such a whipped bitch. I mean, it wasn't even your goddamn house, what on earth does she care whether your dirty shoes are inside or not? Being blindly obedient to a stupid command/suggestion is worse than making a stupid decision.
NicoleAlexandra 0
Who gives a ****? It was a funny story, leave it alone
Pun_Intended 0
I hope you didn't find out by putting them on...
1234five 0
WHO THE **** SAYS SHAT
uSuck 0
people that know their ******* grammar, moron.
InfamyX13 0
LMFAO! thats sucks though...
thecommenter1 0
Who the **** says shat anymore? Loser. YDI
iFruit 0
Wtf is shat? Is that the past tense for shit? Or did you misspell sat? But then again, you can't really sit in a shoe... This word shat confuses me! OP, you are a shat covered hat wearing rat! How do ya like them apples?
jayjay777 0
Yes, it's the past tense of shit, but it would sound less awkward if he said "somebody took a shit in them".
Ksoccerplayer 0
1st ur lucky they didn't get stolen at least u can wash them (y would u leave ur shoes out in the open??) 2nd i thought shat was british or something.... plus i don't think it is the past tense of shit i just think people say it is so they can use the word shit even more.
JanisEvans 10
It's not British. Europeans generally have no problem whatsoever to simply say shit, **** or whatever they like... :D It's ye stuck up Americans who always have to use made up words because the right one "would sound vulgar"... If you don't want to swear, simply don't... These half-hearted cover ups just suck, for the ******* sacred heart of ******* Jesus! (That's how we curse in Ireland!) :D
SimpleSimon 0
People over here (England) do say shat as past participle of shit; 'I took a shit in his shoe!' 'Really, you actually shat in it?'.
nerdytacos 3
excuse me, but I am Catholic and I dont think Jesus would like that language Sincerely, Your Worst Nightmare...
Ksoccerplayer 0
well thats pretty effed up..
sevbaby 0
this is bullshit. because on MLIA, someone wrote something like, "I went on FML today and lied about someone pooping in my shoes. Now all these people think my life sucks." flaming ****. hahahahhaah.
Apocalyptus 0
Wow, saying someone's sexual orientation is different to what it actually is. What a creative insult.