Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
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Top comments
Orchard 33
I can top that OP. It was my freshman year of high school, and I had missed the bus and no one in my family could come get me from school. I was feeling pretty sick. Then this really nice, popular senior girl offered to give me a ride. With no other choice, I accepted. Less than halfway in the drive, I let one SBDF out because I just couldn't hold it, and we both suffered in the toxicity until we got to my house. It was awful, I was too embarrassed to say, "Roll the windows down I'm sorry!" And she was too nice to say anything at all or to put the AC on or roll the windows down on her own because then she would have acknowledged the fart. Thirteen years later I still have nightmares about it. So OP, I feel you but it could always be worse
802_CRU 0
take beano before and there'll BEANO gas!!!
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Comments (18)
fallenangel1421 15
Hahah too funny
Orchard 33
I can top that OP. It was my freshman year of high school, and I had missed the bus and no one in my family could come get me from school. I was feeling pretty sick. Then this really nice, popular senior girl offered to give me a ride. With no other choice, I accepted. Less than halfway in the drive, I let one SBDF out because I just couldn't hold it, and we both suffered in the toxicity until we got to my house. It was awful, I was too embarrassed to say, "Roll the windows down I'm sorry!" And she was too nice to say anything at all or to put the AC on or roll the windows down on her own because then she would have acknowledged the fart. Thirteen years later I still have nightmares about it. So OP, I feel you but it could always be worse
xninix_fml 36
lmao
DenBriZel 31
Um.... LOL blame it on the plumbing? Gas leak?
mattrd_fml 31
blame it on your manager!
worldclassrager 41
It happens...but alone perhaps the restroom wouldn't be a bad idea