Today, the guy I've been dating told me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML
Today, my boyfriend of one year told me not to walk beside him because people might "think we're together". FML
Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML
Today, I told my guy friend to not put pictures of me on his story when we hang out, to which he replied, “You rejected me, but you continue to ask about my friends. For some reason you refuse to help me out with yours. At least some other girl I know will think I’m a catch for hanging with you.” FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years suggested I don’t display affection or try to hold his hand at a party because a girl there “recently got broken up with” and he doesn’t wanna “hurt her feelings.” When I replied that this was irrational, he told me, “Then don’t come at all stupid bitch, geez!” FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is still liking other semi-naked girls at Instagram, even though I'd told him a month ago that it makes me feel insecure. It's time to say goodbye to him; I can't find a man with integrity. FML
Today, I was warned by a friend that unless I make more effort with my boyfriend, he'll be snapped up by someone else, and proved it by showing me text screenshots of at least three women I know who are all hoping to pounce on him when I eventually fuck it up so badly he dumps me. FML
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Top comments
Lateon 0
Dump him.
PersnicketyPu55y 0
Instead of whining about it, realize he's a jerk and stop dating him. No one can mistreat you unless you allow them to.
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Comments (121)
jellyfish_ftw 0
Oh my gawd................. I am loving this thread. It's like Barbie vs. Real People. And the real people are winning. Normally I'd feel obliged to jump in, but you all are doing so well, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy. Kudos to spongebobrocks, Nai, and thequickredofox especially. You make me proud to be normal.
Nai_fml 0
Thank you, I try my best.
spongebobrocks 0
Thank you, that means a lot ^_^ I just gave up on her, I just can't waste my words on her anymore. I wanna talk to someone normal now. Oh and to make a comment about the actual FML... He's not worth your attention, or your pain, OP.
DameGreyWulf 1
You got that right, sister!
mushrooms_fml 0
O by the way **** ALL OF U, **** OFF, AND GO 2 HELL. Im going 2 the clubs now, have fun sitting at home on the computer, GO **** URSELVES!!!!!!! Jealous assholes
Nai_fml 0
Well, I'd prefer if you didn't **** me, thanks. And I've been having fun sitting at home. It's midnight, I'm not going anywhere. I'd prefer to be an asshole to being you. And I've stated before, with reasons. I'm not jealous of you in the slightest.
DameGreyWulf 1
Must agree with Nai. I've been up and about all day, I like having a night to myself every now and then. Besides, I'm talking to my Mexican while I sit. What reason do I have to leave the computer now?
thequickredofox 0
So many LOLs..... have fun at the club(s), watch out for drink spiking and guys that pretend to be rich but aren't. ... heading out to the boat now, but had to jump back on to collect my cookie from DJ817 *mwa*
jellyfish_ftw 0
wow, lady. i feel bad for you.....i really do. you're clearly convinced that all guys want a thin, tan, hot blonde on their arm that they can dress up in expensive outfits and **** whenever they want. you know what's gonna happen to you? you're gonna get fat. those perfect ******* will sag so much you could roll them up. your tan will turn into a bad imitation of distressed leather. your hair will turn grey and get thin. and you know what? all those guys that supposedly pant after you like a bitch in heat - they're gonna be off chasing the younger, blonder versions of you that are everywhere, and you know why? because you look like everyone else. same hair, same skin, same slutty attitude. you're trash. and i'm sorry.
Caldwell94 0
haha you must have no life if you find the need to brag about going to a club to people on fml.
The_Chuck_Norris 0
Mushroom i know you are entitled to be stupid, but please don't abuse the privilege im a guy and im disgusted at you, i mean seriously you are soo materialistic i bet you nagged one of the many boyfriends you had to buy you a "Gold ***** Encrusted With Diamonds" but you know what go ahead and go clubbing, i hope a guy with a serious STD hits on you and then you being the attention ***** that you are allows him to enter the "Dirty Palace" and BOOM your stuck with probelms....then thats where you write you sad pathetic story here on FML.com
DJ817 0
One quick thing, I do have to say thank you and congratulations to mushrooms, for giving me a pleasant ending to my day :D You made me feel smart! and yes, good job spongebobrocks, Nai, and thequickredofox. You win a cookie.
Nai_fml 0
Hey, thanks! ...What kind of cookie?
gummibehrs 4
Can I have a cookie too, just for good measure? I'm pretty hungry and all I have handy are grapes. While delicious, I'm craving junk food =P
thequickredofox 0
Want half my cookie gummi? I've just packed a monster picnic so I can spare the calories! ..... why does the boychild take half an hour to get ready *sigh*
DJ817 0
What ever cookie your imagination can make up! And gummibehrs you also get a imagination cookie. For that gonorrhea comment. Made me lol.
gummibehrs 4
Yes, please! *eats half the cookie* Thanks, fox ^^ It was delicious! Yes I feel your pain, I babysit a five-year-old and whenever I want to take him anywhere, he's got to use the bathroom, find his shoes and socks, put on his shoes and socks, say goodbye to his toys, etc...
Nai_fml 0
Alright then, I thank you for this cookie.
TheKitsune 0
Dating is NOT exclusive. If he was your boyfriend you'd be exclusive. Just to assume that you have claim on him since you've been on a couple dates is creepy and obsessive. :/
gummibehrs 4
Well that had to be one of the funniest arguments I've ever read on the internet. I'd like to meet her in reality just to see if that is actually what she's like, but I'm afraid I might get gonorrhea if I make eye contact with her.
jellyfish_ftw 0
WIN lmao
gummibehrs 4
Haha, thank you *bows*
xxintermissionxx 0
that is one of the greatest things i have ever read.
gummibehrs 4
Hehe =D thanks
redblueviolet 0
EPIC WIN. :D
gummibehrs 4
Lol glad I could help you laugh DJ817, thanks for the cookie =D
gummibehrs 4
*Sigh* Well, all, I must be going to bed now. I can't believe I've stayed up this late but I became so addicted to this massive argument that I couldn't go to sleep without knowing how it ended. So, thank you all for giving me lots of laughs tonight! Goodnight!
NewYorkComma 0
Oh goodness. I had to reply to mushrooms. I prefere a guy who doesn't drool over me all the time. Most the guys who treat you the way you want to be treated are faking to get you to spread your legs. It's gross. I'm 16, still a virgin and would rather wait till I'm WAYY old to sleep with someone because they aren't good enough, or I'm not ready, than **** a random guy because "everyone wants you to". I call bullshit on most of this. I'd rather live in a more wondeful place. It's called Canada. We see four seasons here. Did you know leaves change colour? Probably not. Since you're like the superficial cheerleaders we seen in movies. Wooh. Way to aspire to be a good person! Grow up. I know 3 year olds who are more mature.
DameGreyWulf 1
Hey we have four seasons here in the midwest too :c
NewYorkComma 0
That is very true!!! But I don't think she know's that... I like the midwest actually. I was there a few weeks ago.
xxintermissionxx 0
you know, this fml honestly isnt all that funny, but the comment arguement really just made it so much better.
busted_love 0
i have to agree 100% i usually cant sit still for more than twenty minutes at a time, but my ass has been glued to this computer chair for the better part of two hours, this is just the most amusing internet fight i've ever witnessed. in all senserity i hope mushrooms realizes her life is a meaningless black abyss filled with money clubs, fake friends, and lying boys. spongebobrocks: you are one witty charector and it has been a pleasure reading your replies to this girls rediculas and pethetic attempts to sounding cool. thequickredfox: you have a spine and i admire it, you have made me laugh countless times in the past few hours and i thoroughly enjoy your sense of humour nai: kudos, you are one cool girl, who knows what she wants and i think thats terrific, there should be more people like you in this world. dk187 (i think thats right, i'm doing this from memory) i laughed at the imaginary cookie, and your total honesty. thank you for inspiring my night and lastly, to mushrooms: you suck, you know you suck, your probably proud of the fact that you suck, but dont mistake loathing for jealousy, its a flaw. you have many. get over yourself. with love ttfn
spongebobrocks 0
I have an odd issue, and I simply NEED to correct you. D: I correct everyone's spelling. People got used to it. -trying to resist- I'm sorry dear, but I'll have to. Sincerity*, Character*, Ridiculous*, Pathetic*, You're probably proud...*. I hope I haven't spoiled the impression you have on me by being a grammar freak. I'm sorry. xD