Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, Christmas got cancelled this Saturday because of my narcissistic sister being upset that the guest list has two of her old friends, who are now my friends. It's my first Christmas with my family or friends in 23 years, and my mum even offered her a separate dinner on the 25th, but nope. FML
Today, I went to a Nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming, "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
Today, my grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I'd better start praying for a husband. FML
Today, my wife, who has a drinking problem, looked me straight in the eye as she poured herself a "water" bottle to enjoy while at work. FML
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Top comments
allykaymorris 24
Another monster-in-law... When will they learn that just being nice makes everything better? Merry Christmas OP, I hope things only get better!
CSU_Dynasty 8
Been there. Lives that.
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Comments (37)
tatertotx3 16
well tell her no one likes a Scrooge during the holidays anyways.
Tripartita 45
Ha. Ha. That is some sophisticated, mean-spirited humor. It's, like, a whole level above saying something nice and then adding "…NOT!" to the end.
TripleATeam 13
Be nice and proper the entire time, then let her opinion be unpopular! She might even feel guilty afterwards.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Tell her it's not too late for a Christmas miracle. Her heart could still grow three sizes that day.
ko051598 20
You should say " good-looking in thjs house didn't exist tell I came here" she sounds like a bitch
photographer49 22
#16 And if OP said that he'd sound like a douche
soulreaper12296 28
To bad that would also imply that OP is saying his wife isn't good looking. Which definitely wouldn't go over well.
EvilLittleMan 23
And that Halloween ended two months ago.
jenjen53 7
Sorry to hear that OP. Sometimes it takes time for the in laws to get it.
KingLewisII 34
bah humbug
wow2mylife 25
my family thinks the opposite that my uncle didn't show up to ours Christmas party if that makes you feel better
VikingLynne 18
The true Christmas miracle, were the fact that her cheek seemingly went un-slapped. Violence is never the solution, but such a comment only surfaces when someone wants their cheeks warmed.