Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML
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Top comments
Vagmanec 0
You threw up for 20 minutes from brushing your tongue? If I was you, I'd probably stop brushing my tongue...
perdix 31
Now, everyone thinks the "new guy (or gal)" is a bulemic that will always smell vaguely of barf. You may never smell of vomit again at work, but people will always think you do -- it's one of those basic smells that you can recall whether the scent is physically present or not. I think your nickname will be Ralph, regardless if you are male or female.
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Comments (86)
qriztyy4747 3
ummm....gwoss.
allanCapaldi 5
squeeze your left thumb and voila no gag reflex and ladies your BFs will thank me
xtx123 0
YDI for not knowing how to brush your teeth properly.
steelerschika 1
how did that make u twenty min late? that is just plain stupid
Daederoth 10
You threw up for 20 minutes? Cancer.
TheSpoof 0
My brother did the same thing yesterday
DiNgO_lOvE 0
haha that's kinda funny...
grog_fml 3
it takes you 20 minutes to throw up?
kiki819721 2
u fail at life
carriedaway02 0
it should just make you gag, not totally THROW UP... how many times were you going too far? that's one intense brushing session.