Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Vagmanec 0
You threw up for 20 minutes from brushing your tongue? If I was you, I'd probably stop brushing my tongue...
perdix 31
Now, everyone thinks the "new guy (or gal)" is a bulemic that will always smell vaguely of barf. You may never smell of vomit again at work, but people will always think you do -- it's one of those basic smells that you can recall whether the scent is physically present or not. I think your nickname will be Ralph, regardless if you are male or female.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
sabatical 0
puke away not towards!
sabatical 0
hahaha win! ^
dynky 3
How?? The gag reflex lives really far down the throat, past the flappy bit that seperates off the windpipe. There is no way on earth you can reach it accidently with a toothbrush. Besides, presumably you were standing upright and not pressing on your stomach... it's just not going to happen. I call fake.
GoPlayInTraffic 2
I could easily vomit while brushing my toungue. I know this though and just brush carefully. Some people have strong gag reflexes. It has nothing to do with how far you get down your throat.
dynky 3
you just put them further down. trust me, it's possible, but not something that could happen accidently.
nentenkupo 19
Same here, I can't even reach the back of my tongue without gagging, not everyone's is at the back of their throat
Primus_fml 0
Just take a mint...
Einstein714 0
or smoke a blunt by chance?
gabyy323 0
next time put your thumb on your palm and make a fist and squeeze and you don't gag lol my friend taught me that :)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
If you already brushed your teeth once, use a breath mint. YDI
waywick 0
it takes you 20 minutes to puke?
ashylarry 0
use a tongue scraper
ivyshade 0
that happens to me quite a bit, if you atleast don't gag then you have a problem..FYL
Compass 0
Just chew gum.