Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled, "Hello?" There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
Today, a creep called me out in the street and asked me why I was in that part of that street, because he "knows " I live in another part of the street, and he found it "odd" that I was there. He was smiling all that time too. FML
Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML
Today, I went to check my mail but there was a guy standing at the mailbox. I said, "Hey, get the fuck away from there." It was the mailman. FML
Today, a lady told me I looked like Paul McCartney in his youth. With that little confidence boost, I told my girlfriend. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she didn't know who Paul McCartney is, or how she is now obsessively Googling pictures of him and is practically drooling. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Where can I get one of these?
imajinethat 0
YDI for not recognizing a Legend when you saw him.
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Comments (93)
lesbee 0
OP: You're life is not f**ked. It would have been if you had attempted to have sex with the cardboard sign or even burn it in a fit of rage. But no, you're an ok person that just needs glasses. I call all with at least one square inch of brain to moderate at lest 30 FMLs today so that we can prevent non-FMLs like these to make it online. Sorry I'm pissy today.
uhwhiteguy 0
Yea it always seems more like an fml when there's sex involved
ILIEKMUDKIPZ 0
This... this really isn't a big deal. I thought I was still reading MLIA for a second there. (L) MLIA (L)
sublime93 0
I luhh you
kirstiKORPSE 0
marry me :D
robbotheking 0
Hey! You live next-door to Paul McCartney!
imajinethat 0
YDI for not recognizing a Legend when you saw him.
BethieJean 0
Is it just me or is there a "I thought someone creepy was looking at me, but it was just a cardboard cutout!" story on here every day now? They are not funny, they are not FML's, they are lame.
rockmyworld 0
it's not really fml, but mlia sucks, so.. =) it's funny. hunny, you're not THAT nice looking :P
Beatlesndoherty 0
Where'd your neighbor get it? Was it Beatles era Paul, Wings-era Paul, Solo-era Paul, or Fireman-era Paul? For some reason I pictured it as Fireman-era Paul. How much was it? I NEED TO KNOW!! And this is Paul, imagine (no pun intended) John... Or George. OR STUART SUTCLIFFE! You've made me very envious.
pippymiskers 4
Jesus Christ...
nellieelectron 0
Gods I tell you, the beatles are gods.
bieberfreak18 0
wow, holy obsessive ...
rosetta4978 6
This coming from the beiber freak? Lol. I will imagine!! (aha!)
MichelleMaBelle_fml 16
Awesome
movies12 0
I don't get it how is ur life ******? What cause u called ur friend and than looked like an idiot cause it was Paul Mccartney cut out? I still don't get it, oh and also couldn't u see the actual face. Like PAUL MCCARTNEY how could you NOT tell.
goingdownhill 0
how is this an FML? seriously...
candystyle 0
No worries, I'm sure he was looking through you...
robbotheking 0
I love you so much right now. Of course, I think the OP should've expected seeing Paul, as he is here, there, and everywhere.
EasilyUnamused 2
When he saw her standing there..