Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a party when I saw a guy I vaguely recognized. I walked up to him and said, "Hey! Long time no see!" He looked confused and said, "Sorry, do I know you?" After an awkward pause, I realized I didn't know him at all - I had mistaken him for a character from a TV show I'm currently binge-watching. FML.
Today, I went up and spoke to someone at my local grocery store because I thought he was my neighbor. We chatted for nearly two minutes before he politely said, "I'm sorry, I have absolutely no idea who you are." I still had to finish shopping in the same aisle. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML
Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, "Oh my god, I know I know you but I don't know where from." Looking annoyed, she replied, "We've worked together for months." FML
Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
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Top comments
dollars2doughnut 0
I don't know whether to feel pity or laugh in this case..
juicedboi 7
Should have said no, I'm the guy u slept with at that party a few months ago. By the way get yourself checked out. Then walk away
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Comments (78)
dollars2doughnut 0
I don't know whether to feel pity or laugh in this case..
MissMittens 0
Allen is soooooo cute!!!!!
juicedboi 7
Should have said no, I'm the guy u slept with at that party a few months ago. By the way get yourself checked out. Then walk away
CateXOX 0
17- The neighbor is 12 years old.
juicedboi 7
haha my mistake. Failed to read that part. Well let the flaming of my comment begin. But i shall change the solution to.. tell her you are.. nope I got nothing. sorry
slayer447 17
20 - they have lived next to each other for 12 years, she's not 12 years old.
rockyraccoon28 8
20- the FML doesn't say the age of the neighbor. it says "neighbor of twelve years", that means that they have been neighbors for twelve years. not that the neighbor is twelve.
CateXOX 0
23- Sorry, I guess that was a fail on my part. Apologies, 22.
KiddNYC1O 22
Epic fail.
juicedboi 7
In that case let pretend this never happened and go out for deep fried ice cream. who's with me?
ovechkinisbeast 9
Winning!
GuessWhatKids 13
is something you're unfamiliar with.
EvilPotato 15
There is NO dorks on Two and A Half men!
Monkeymolli 0
you need to get out more lol
iSitt 0
tell her you know Charlie sheen and Ashton
WhyAmUHere 19
#2, how would that possibly help?
AlEX928 0
Eh..Could've been worse.
syki 22
She could have thought you looked like the half-man... or the coked-out psycho. So, cheers. 8)
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
yeah or she coulda said he looked like the gay guy from Glee, that woulda been hilarious :P
futtbuck101 1
Sheen isn't dorky, he's just...a crackhead
unvmesucka 0
Bi-losing! Sheen isn't the dorky one. Atleast you look like someone who is rich and famous.
cumverg 0
I'm pretty sure he was talking about Jon Cryer
eatmyshortssss1 8
lemme smang it
soccersgr8 6
I thought he meant Alan
AvikC818 8
He's not talking about Charlie Sheen you ********
ambowew 7
You love to party? What's not to love?
okaydisarray 17
OP was being compared to Jon Cryer not Charlie Sheen. JSYK.
armorf0r 7
some people are just idiots. don't get mad just cause one person doesn't remember you.
cwmbear 0
Who are you again?
txgirl2013 14
You should have came back with something witty.
frolick123 0
aaaah and u look like the house cleaner
lindsaylu98 0
berta's amazing!!!!!
MyHandIsADolphin 0
Ydi for having a neighbour
stephmariee17 0
wtf? I'm pretty sure most people have neighbors. how does he deserve it for having a neighbor?
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
I don't have neighbors, I killed them all and buried them under my basement
emodude44 0
Dear FML community. Don't feed the trolls.
gbdcw 0
Well stop looking like john cryer i Think that's how you spell his last name.