Food, Relatable and Cooking: Masterchef 2020

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 17:01

Today, I invented a new fusion cuisine delicacy: cigarette-flavored apple sauce. The recipe? Cram so many apple pieces in a pot that they will burn on the bottom, even with plenty of water in it, then go away for 30 minutes and wonder what the bad smell is. FML

agreeclassic 236

vote type 1 2 277

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Autocorrected - 26/11/2012 20:13 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

agreeclassic 29 490

vote type 1 3 395

Roasted

By Whitley - 04/11/2010 15:17 - United States

Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML

agreeclassic 31 524

vote type 1 4 087

By Anonymous - 07/03/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

agreeclassic 14 326

vote type 1 46 107

Kitchen nightmare

By not chicken spaghetti - 18/12/2016 23:58 - United States - Clarksville

Today, while cooking supper with my boyfriend, we both smelled something funny. He tasted the sauce I was making, then asked me to taste it because something was off. I guess the burned Teflon of our cheap pot mixed with Ro-Tel just doesn't work that well. Now we're having dry chicken and plain noodles. FML

agreeclassic 5 834

vote type 1 691

Experimenting

By anon - 24/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML

agreeclassic 145

vote type 1 493

Biohazard

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I have to spray the kitchen whenever my new roommate cooks. Not only can he not cook, but what he usually makes is some godawful concoction of ramen noodles, canned tuna, Tuna Helper, and Ranch dressing for himself. The stink alone is enough to make me choke, but he smokes the entire time he makes it. FML

agreeclassic 465

vote type 1 118

By 3.14 - 08/02/2012 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

agreeclassic 27 208

vote type 1 2 088

For science

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 11:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

agreeclassic 26 767

vote type 1 250 925

Preppers, man

By Bad at adulting - 04/12/2025 15:00

Today, I attempted meal prepping to “get my life together.” Within an hour I'd burned rice, melted a plastic spatula, and discovered I’d seasoned chicken with powdered sugar instead of salt. My smoke alarm and my stomach filed complaints. FML

agreeclassic 157

vote type 1 357

Iron Chef America

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 19:59

Today, I thought about trying something "new", so I put raspberry preserves and maple syrup on my waffles. It tasted like cough medicine. FML

agreeclassic 590

vote type 1 458

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 30 December 2020 21:01

Do you mean charcoal-flavored or were you flicking your cigarette ashes into the pot as you were making it?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Thursday 31 December 2020 3:05

Gordon Ramsay called. He said "stay the **** out of the kitchen". And then he had a brain aneurysm after trying to work out how you **** up apple sauce.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 30 December 2020 21:01

Do you mean charcoal-flavored or were you flicking your cigarette ashes into the pot as you were making it?

Wadlaen 23

Wednesday 30 December 2020 22:48

Congratulations on this culinary invention!😅 And I wish you the best of luck on your future work within the field!😅

BurnInDemonFire 35

Thursday 31 December 2020 3:05

Gordon Ramsay called. He said "stay the **** out of the kitchen". And then he had a brain aneurysm after trying to work out how you **** up apple sauce.

JasonThorn 20

Thursday 31 December 2020 17:20

Well, walking out of the kitchen when you have something on the stove is a step in that direction...because "out of sight, out of mind" is one of the sadder cooking disciplines.