Today, we're visiting my wife's extended family. They're nice people but they eat like crap; I haven't had a single fresh vegetable or fruit in days, and everything they cook is overcooked and smothered in cheap sauce or "seasonings." My stomach is about to go on strike. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have to pretend to be vegan for a week while visiting my in-laws to avoid eating there. While they are absolutely wonderful, kind, loving people, their kitchen is absolutely disgusting, and their food handling habits are atrocious. I’m so hungry. FML
Today, my husband caught me sneaking out of his parents' house to get food. I love my in-laws, they’re the type of people others dream of having, but the food is so horrible. I don’t understand how in such a large family of amazing people not one of them has figured out how to make a decent meal. FML
Today, my family are refusing to go out to eat with me anymore. Apparently, me liking my food cooked a certain way infuriates them because it delays our order, and makes the wait staff hate us. FML
Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over to her family’s house for dinner. Every dish was packed with onion, garlic, pepper, and some spices I couldn’t even identify. I couldn’t actually taste the meat or the side dishes. All the nuance had been obliterated. I think they might not have taste buds. FML
Today, thanks to my wife’s obsession with expensive foods like chutney, relishes, exotic spices, and preserved foreign vegetables and herbs, I'm literally staring into a fridge full of glass jars, with a door that barely stays closed, and yet has nothing inside suitable to eat for my dinner. FML
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, my wife doesn't like to cook. She doesn't like when I cook, because I enjoy cooking and she says I'm "making her feel guilty." She also doesn't want to order take out, as it's "a foolish waste of money." The fuck are we supposed to eat? FML
Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML
Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML
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Top comments
unashamedfemale 9
Dude I feel you. I start getting sick by like day 2 of eating out when on vacations.
tiptoppc 21
Let me guess Louisiana? My family (now dead) had BBQ meat every day. If there was a vegetable or leaf anywhere near the meat, it was an accident. I was sick for weeks after i got back and never went down there again
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Comments (3)
unashamedfemale 9
Dude I feel you. I start getting sick by like day 2 of eating out when on vacations.
BurnInDemonFire 39
And you can't go out and buy what you want because...?
Yudith 28
He's in Iowa?
tiptoppc 21
Let me guess Louisiana? My family (now dead) had BBQ meat every day. If there was a vegetable or leaf anywhere near the meat, it was an accident. I was sick for weeks after i got back and never went down there again