Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML
Today, I thought I'd locked my house keys in my locker at work. Not having any replacement nearby, I decided to cut the padlock with the saw of my pocket-knife. It took 20 minutes and four cuts into my hand to destroy the padlock. It took another five seconds to find the missing key in my jacket. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML
Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML
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Top comments
NippsSlipps 10
Checking your pockets for keys before you break a window usually works. But that's just me.
Airman1988 9
So you managed to search the ground and find a spoon but not your own pocket for a key?
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Comments (144)
Airman1988 9
So you managed to search the ground and find a spoon but not your own pocket for a key?
manowarkidd 8
lol i dont under stand why people when breaking window dont break of the exxes glass? you broke the window and when replacing it they use a new pane so wtf
LolCakes111 7
10% chance it's under the rug near the front door?
jaredjudd21 2
So that's what that lump was, I thought it was the orange chicken I kept for later.
Arxikist 3
Naw, it's a boner.
jaredjudd21 2
Well come on now, a Chinese boner?
ariannaimelda 7
You'd think your pockets would be the first place you'd look...
BrianAlarcon 0
Let me guess your a blonde.
stephissilly 18
you were blazed weren't you?
cjcstuart 7
Lol I was thinking the same thing.
Badjuju7711 0
Sounds like more of a drinking thing. A person who is high would have forgotten them in the first place.
luongo6 0
On the bright side, you can make up a cool story about how you got the wound. "I was wrestling a bear, and was clearly winning, so he called in reinforcements. Before I knew it, 30 other bears had surrounded me. I managed to win, but they left this scar on my leg."
0__________o 0
Oh so you thought you got locked out, without checking your pockets. YDI OP
IBelongToJeebus 0
You have an awesome username.
BrianAlarcon 0
That sucks....Maybe check your pocket next time?
frankothetanko 0
and then you can be in the band Iwrestledabearonce