Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I'm in the coronavirus-vulnerable group, so I asked my friend to go shopping for me because I'm in need of food and toilet paper. They came back with a bag of icing sugar, even though food and toilet paper were available in the shop. Forty minutes later, the shelves were stripped bare. FML
Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML
Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
YDI for comparing your life to that of a bunch of strangers, for caring about the difference, and for measuring your life (and theirs) based on one grocery checkout. (On another note, I'd take the pizza over the tequila any day)
maskedman 9
with all that toilet it looks like you might be having an awesome party yourself. a porcelain pool party.
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Comments (83)
jonny2x4 0
At least you weren't in line with Hot Pockets, tampons, and suppositories.
aarmy 0
Tequila shots in the dark scene of the crime. ~
kethery 0
ydi. get a life or accept the one you have now. whiner
anorexicbarbie 8
26 If you're going to put up a fake picture, at least choose a mildly attractive guy.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
this is me u **** bag and thanks for insulting me you douche
scvcwcheer 0
coming from someone with no pic?
illmatic2 16
It's always the people with no pic...
Freeze_fml 17
http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q10/AnimeKitten523/14793142.jpg FYL for being a gay vampire.
HeroOfMi 0
I think his pic is legit, it just bugs me that he hits on everyone, lol. I'm not insulting him or nothing, I don't know him and have no right. just pointing out that that shit annoys me >.>
HeroOfMi 0
wow. the one time I don't assume a pic is fake and I'm wrong. back to my old ways! I'm gonna cyber jump u when I see u creep on people now :o
PimpdaddyCJT 13
I'm not fake
PimpdaddyCJT 13
jesu
illmatic2 16
^^^ Fail!
HeroOfMi 0
dude, that pic got found on photobucket, give it up, we know ur ugly :p (I realize I have no pic, but I use fml on my iPod so I can't get one up..doesn't matter though, I'm not here to impress anyone) anyway, you really don't have anything to worry about, girls who haven't read that you're fake will still hit on you on here.
_Ama_Lia_V_ 0
Just Get A Gf Dude xD
JDM00Si 0
lol I wouldve said hey where's the party at? it works everytime
laff1234 4
you buy Tequila in a grocery store in California??
guitar78_fml 3
Funny cause many people in here are saying 'YDI, should have joined them' as if it was that easy. Sure he could have said 'Can i come? Got pizza' but hey, how many of you would actually have done that? Anyway, sucks for the OP, at least you have a pizza :D
ohthebloodygore 16
54 -I've done that millions of times. It is that easy. They don't care; the more the better is what they say.
HeroOfMi 0
and then eventually you get raped
HeroOfMi 0
why would ny warning get moderated? I wasn't being a jerk, that crap seriously happens to people!
HeroOfMi 0
my** I failed
ohthebloodygore 16
Because of the content that you mentioned. Yes, it happens. But, it hasn't to me. And, I don't even go out anymore since I have a kid.
Flipflops4ever 0
So? U really expect anytime anybody in the world is going to a fun party u shd b going to a fun party too? Geez by that logic ur life is ****** unless u r partying 365 days a year. Tell u a little secret buddy. There are many days those girls sit at home eating pizza too. YDI for being a whiner.
SeaNDouble 1
so what? seriously, ur really so upset ur eating pizza while strangers party? like other ppl said, they spend plenty of their nights eating pizza alone too... get over it at least your eating pizza