Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I'm in the coronavirus-vulnerable group, so I asked my friend to go shopping for me because I'm in need of food and toilet paper. They came back with a bag of icing sugar, even though food and toilet paper were available in the shop. Forty minutes later, the shelves were stripped bare. FML
Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML
Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
YDI for comparing your life to that of a bunch of strangers, for caring about the difference, and for measuring your life (and theirs) based on one grocery checkout. (On another note, I'd take the pizza over the tequila any day)
maskedman 9
with all that toilet it looks like you might be having an awesome party yourself. a porcelain pool party.
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Comments (83)
ronton 4
haha get friends then
LMFAOwned 9
Should have asked them if you could go. :)
_TONGAN_ 5
wow man it's probably because ur like 40 years old and the girls are 20...FYL and the Pizza!!!
GregDaBossMaster 0
dude stop being a baby and join em.
legonut4 0
it's funny because they have more of a life than you
hiddenassassin 0
it's funny because I laughed
mexicutioner123 0
so? ??
PimpdaddyCJT 13
sucks to be you right now
FunnyWeasel 7
looks like they got plans
swimmerstud 7
then invite friends over
abbi96x 0
26, you're cute :)
remy3106 10
26 ur cute ;)
AlesanaLTL 0
yea 35 you're cute
cassiesaurus 0
stop complaining and just get some friends. not that hard.
BallinJ 0
sounds like they were going to get wasted. definitely should of tried to get on that.
robertdr 0
idiot i would of said i got the pizza, lets get wasted and tp houses,
number0 8
YDI for not buying food online
livelaughlove22 0
ha ur a loserr
PimpdaddyCJT 13
thanks 35 and 37
Freeze_fml 17
#52 looks gay.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
in not gay
greatsarcazm 0
WTF is foodmax ?
hiddenassassin 0
59 you're a skeleton
michelleclarke 0
should have made conversation. you could have been at the party.
Janglur476 0
13, the girls can't be 20. they're buying tequila. :)
karina_said 0
what i really want to know is... what was the person in front of you buying?
ladiesman14 0
no not true you had a date with the red baron.
Ur_REmEdy 0
52 is kinda cute i wudnt say hott tho
PimpdaddyCJT 13
ur not the preetiest either
justin5m5 0
36, you're the cute one ;)
justin5m5 0
wait I meant 35 hahahaha
terranada 3
wats wrong with that? friends r so overrated
sexybeastsexybea 0
sooooooooooo.... throw the frozen pizza at them then follow them and t.p. the house. :)
Imyourstar15 0
haha I don't know what 139 is saying but I think ur pretty hot :]
yeeder1 0
weed>pizza>tequila hahaha
maskedman 9
with all that toilet it looks like you might be having an awesome party yourself. a porcelain pool party.
ahugit 0
dude, you are awesome. lol
Lisetteeex3 3
Try and get a life.
SparkleyTurtle 4
Eat pizza.... THEN POOP!!
null_fml 11
YDI for comparing your life to that of a bunch of strangers, for caring about the difference, and for measuring your life (and theirs) based on one grocery checkout. (On another note, I'd take the pizza over the tequila any day)
claras100 5
^ agreed.
Vagrarian 2
Agree with #4. Don't compare your life to theirs. If it bothers you, do some stuff to boost your self-esteem and help yourself to meet people and make friends. And there's nothing wrong with an occasional night home alone with a movie and a pizza; sometimes that's better than hanging out with shallow vacuous girls at a noisy obnoxious party. (Depending on one's mood, of course!)
Kawaiichan42 3
I agree with 4. Pizza>tequila, and comparing your life to someone else's in the checkout line is lame.
Lisa89 3
^ this. #4; exacly!
time4coffee 3
Agreed, you can't compare yourself to every random stranger you see, it will make you nuts.
loselos 0
yeah I agree pizza over tequila
Theclarksondales 8
How about Pizza and Tequila, that's what I call a party
Grrrr82 0
I don't need a reason YDI loser, even my fat ugly ass can get women and booze so you royally fail at life.
tienjt 3
Women and booze =/= life. Sorry.
beachyballerina 12
Ok. First of all, maybe he WANTS to go home and eat pizza. It probably does suck for him but i mean c'mon you don't need to be a douche to this guy about it god...
Barrientos432 5
You must have really wanted that pizza since you were willing to go buy it at 11:30 PM. I hope you enjoyed it sir!
lonesomeXheartbr 0
or he reallly needed the tp and just decided to get the pizza since he was there ha
karina_said 0
i think 88 is right (:
addiizcherry 0
Well actually it takes a while for a post to go through moderation.
mickey559 0
well u can be my friend lol
Geiko_fml 0
Life. It's needed. I don't like parties, but go out and converse with people some. Parties aren't the only way to do that.
andrew95_fml 0
fyl i understand a person like you would enjoy a good time but hey shit happens sooner or later youll be that person buying tequila etc and those b*tches will be the one buying pizza and TP xD lmfaooo and seriously I agree I would definitly go for some pizza right now
cdog1390 3
hey theres nothing wrong with frozen pizza...that shit is good haha