Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mom tried to worm her way back into my life by manipulating my brother into doing the dirty work for her. I pretended to swallow the bullshit and invited her over, just so I could slam the door in her face. My brother says I went too far, like he somehow forgot what a shit mom she was. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
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Top comments
ScottVining 21
Glad to know my moms not the only one who gets annoyingly drunk at parties.
k_dizzy95 17
That blows.
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Comments (39)
weird_adult 27
Kinky
brenton490 19
Hey I have drunk new Year's mom stories as well.Just go with it next time.
jojocircus19 16
There you go people. Never let drunk mothers handle cameras.
FalloutScrolls 25
Your mother sounds like a fun drunk.
disasterlydeed 26
Lol, I want to party with your mom! She sounds like a blast.
Railroader 16
Sounds like something my mother in law would say
UnluckyHoax 16
On the bright side.. She could of said something way worse than that.
hipposteve 21
humour her and appreciate her silly request while you have her! these memories are priceless
GreyJedi 10
OP's mom has got it going on...
ScenePanda45 13
Well then...at least she didn't though!!!! Right....0.0