Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
Today, I was accosted by an angry homeless man at the recycling center, since I refused to give him my saved up bottles and cans. He insisted that he needed it more and I was "poaching his turf". I needed the recycling to put gas in my car, just to make it to work and hope I could make it back home. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
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Top comments
jailbot 7
I applaud your snappy comeback! I bet I'd have said the same thing, I mean, what right does a homeless man have to complain about people having no money to give him?
Dashiell 0
I heard that homeless people in prime locations can make up to $50,000 a year.
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Comments (216)
kingg223 0
... ******* Genius...
staystrongholdon 0
I applaud you , that is the best comeback I think I have ever heard, or ever will. HDI for being too stupid and ignorant to realize he was setting himself up for that. Congratz .
AudreyKHepburn 0
Loved your comeback! So hilarious!
ugk4life 0
Now that was fkin hilarious.
jasperkatt09 0
That was hilarious.
vdubz 0
EPIC WIN on your part!
copey 0
hahahaha You 1, homeless guy 0
Pointy130 0
Judging his response, I'd guess he was a professional panhandler. No real homeless man makes a smartass comment on how you refuse to give them money, they usually just accept what people give them.
BLiNdZoRz 3
That guy was a douche. In fact, all homeless guys are douches. It's there fault they are on the street, they should just grow up and get a job. All they buy with the money given to them is buy more beer. Don't **** with the homeless.
MfxKarina 0
YDI, for being mean to a homeless guy...but good comeback.